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Offended At Funeral Of My Mother?

Filed in Category - Jewish Hymn Lyrics

My brother and I recently put our mother to rest after she had a long sickness.
Part of the family is Jewish, we are Christian.
My mother wanted her favorite hymn “At Calvary” sung at the service.
The hymn repeats “At Calvary” quite a few times, referring to the place Christ was crucified.
I was shocked to hear the grumblings of several members of the Jewish attendance saying …. “such a song to pick out for a mixed crowd” etc.
Should I mention this to the few who grumbled in the middle of this hymn or chalk it up to ignorance?

27 Comments so far

  1. cadisney on August 18, 2009 5:38 pm

    Just ignore them
    With all the stress you are going thru right now, do you really want to add a fight with some family members?
    Those people that grumbled and had the nerve to even bring up such an issue at a funeral really are self involved and so who cares what their opinions are anyways?

  2. Suzanne: army of One on August 18, 2009 6:29 pm

    Actually, you should be proud that your mother — who knew this song would be sung in a “mixed crowd” — loved Yeshua (Jesus) AND her Jewish relatives enough to include the song! Let them grumble. But it will stick in their minds and perhaps the Holy Spirit will use the experience to begin working on their rebellion against Him.

  3. The Passenger on August 18, 2009 7:05 pm

    Let it go. People are full of emotions and say and do all sorts of things at funerals. Some of them are odd and inappropriate. My aunts made rude comments about the song selections at my father’s memorial service – don’t let it get to you.
    Chalk it up to raw emotions and try to just let it not be the thing you focus on. My condolences.

  4. austin.h on August 18, 2009 7:37 pm

    just let them know it was your mothers wishes. It is ignorance of your mothers wishes, not of religion. Had you chose it because you liked the hymn, it would have been a poor choice for the Jewish side, but since it was your mothers wishes, just inform them that is what she wanted, and you honored her wishes…

  5. Anonymous on August 18, 2009 8:21 pm

    Hmm…
    I suppose you shouldn’t mention it. They’re right, and it shouldn’t have been played. However, it was right, and it should have been played. Your both right. Just don’t mention it. If they make a big deal about it, say that it was your mother’s wish. I’m sure they’ll understand.
    Sorry about your mother.

  6. conundru on August 18, 2009 8:34 pm

    As Ignorance. You don’t want to stir up contention over something that was a Serious & Solemn occasion to you & your Family. Since Jews in General do not believe Jesus to be the Messiah & the Son of God they were looking at it from their ” Religious ” point of View. Water under the Bridge.Let it Pass.

  7. Michael B - Repeal Prop. 8! on August 18, 2009 9:23 pm

    The funeral service is in remembrance of the deceased and should reflect the deceased not the audience. Those who complain at a funeral are self-centered and unkind. Ignore them and chalk it up to the sin of pride.

  8. ?Agape? on August 18, 2009 10:05 pm

    Would you grumble at a Jewish funeral where the Kaddish prayer is routinely recited?
    No? Then expect the same respect at the Christian service.
    Personally, I’d mention it and quite assertively.

  9. ignoramu on August 18, 2009 10:35 pm

    Chalk it up to ignorance…you are better than that. Sometimes political or spiritual correctness goes too far. They can have what ever song they want at their own funeral.
    ….family always acts up at funerals.

  10. IZ [Elmo's Buddy] on August 18, 2009 11:14 pm

    Just chalk it up to ignorance. Don’t be offended; I’m sure if you told them she requested it, they wouldn’t say anything.
    But yeah, people are easily offended by religious things.

  11. Katie-ly on August 18, 2009 11:48 pm

    You should give your explanation to any that murmured and complained if they should mention anything to you. Either than that you pleased your mom and did her wishes. That’s all that matters.

  12. ktron - respect my atheati! on August 19, 2009 12:42 am

    Just ignorance. Let them grumble; if they can’t show respect at a Christian burial, then they should examine themselves and wonder why they bothered to show up.

  13. Ms. Lady on August 19, 2009 1:10 am

    it’s what your mother wanted and that’s all that matters. you do not have to explain what she wanted to anyone.
    im sorry to hear about your mothers passing.

  14. Persian Melon on August 19, 2009 1:29 am

    They were insensitive and out of line…It was about your Mom not them… Leave them alone and don’t stoop to their level… As long as you know your Mother got what she wanted ,that’s all that matters…

  15. Pagan Princess on August 19, 2009 2:13 am

    Chalk it up to ignorance. It’s not worth arguing over.
    If THEY bring it up at some point, then you can correct them. Otherwise, let it go.
    Sorry for you loss! :-(

  16. Angela W on August 19, 2009 2:15 am

    Like you said, it was your mother’s favourite hymn. These people are self-centred, don’t buy into an arguement.

  17. Jed on August 19, 2009 2:29 am

    To overlook an offense is far better.
    Saying something, what could it do, but perhaps grow strife?

  18. I ? ALLAH on August 19, 2009 2:58 am

    Forget It

  19. Higgs Boson on August 19, 2009 3:15 am

    Chalk up to human nature and let it go. I’m sure that’s what your mother would have wanted.

  20. clusium1 on August 19, 2009 3:21 am

    Chalk it up to ignorance.
    PS: Please accept my condolences for your loss. :-(

  21. DougLawr on August 19, 2009 3:47 am

    Like there were no Jews at Calvary?

  22. nature hugger on August 19, 2009 4:11 am

    let it go becaus ethey were rude — just let it go

  23. Sikuli's Blindspots on August 19, 2009 4:45 am

    It was your mom’s decision. If they don’t like it… bomb them. :)

  24. tebone03 on August 19, 2009 5:24 am

    Just let it go, you followed your mother’s wishes. So sorry for your loss, may God be with you at this time of sorrow.

  25. Disgusti on August 19, 2009 5:33 am

    Forget about it man…It’s not worth it.

  26. tj on August 19, 2009 6:02 am

    I have buried both parents,trust me let it go!
    t

  27. defyingg on August 19, 2009 6:07 am

    The crowd did have a point you should’ve picked something that wasn’t so offending



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